How did you get interested in agriculture? And what are you hoping to gain from your apprenticeship?
May 2025
Imagine this: a young kid, around five or six, carrying a baby blue backpack with a horse embroidered on it (this was pre-bedazzle days, or it would have been covered with gems too). Inside were notebooks with colorful horses running through grassy meadows on their front covers, and horse sketches filled the pages where schoolwork should have been. To top it all off, that kid was wearing a bright yellow sweatshirt with, you guessed it, a horse on it, cowboy boots, and was probably spewing “fun” horse facts to anyone who would listen. This kid was me.
To my parents’ dismay, I never quite grew out of that phase. While I retired most of my horse shirts and notebooks, the passion remained. As I grew up, I continued to carry this unwavering enthusiasm into new spaces and passions like 4-H and FFA. These organizations gave me a window into the world of small scale conventional agriculture. Working with animals and using my hands brought me great satisfaction, but something was missing. As a kid, I spent a lot of time in the wild spaces of western Montana. These touching experiences instilled in me a deep respect and appreciation for the land around me. As I delved deeper into conventional agriculture, I found these lessons challenged. I thought it was just a matter of “toughening up,” so I continued to follow this path and wound up at Montana State University studying livestock management right out of high school.
This is about when my quarter-life crisis hit me. I dropped out of college after a few semesters basing the decision solely on a gut feeling that I was not on my true path. I filled my time with odd jobs, from waitressing to dog training. Even though things were generally stable, I still felt a persistent lack of fulfillment. Each day I questioned where I
was heading with all this. So I did what any young, lost 20-something should do – I went back to my roots.
Turns out, my “roots” took the form of a Craigslist ad calling for a seasonal guide for a nearby outfitter. I had nothing to lose and not much going for me, so I took the leap. It felt like I was resurrecting my horse-obsessed younger self, albeit with a few less horse-embroidered belongings. This job rekindled my passions and set me on a path back into agriculture, inspiring me to re-enroll in school, this time as a sustainable food and farming major, and find other jobs that fell into the agricultural realm. Gradually, doors began to open for me, every opportunity a step closer to who I wanted to be.
Looking back, the winding path makes sense. From a horse-obsessed child to a lost young adult with nowhere to turn but back. Now, as I learn and work within regenerative agriculture, I have found a profound sense of purpose – a journey that began with a blue backpack, and continues with a commitment to healing myself, my community, and our land.
Final Reflections
November 2025
As the sheen of fall fades to winter, I am once again reminded of the cyclical nature of this work. A soft blanket of snow, clouds of breath around the noses of cattle, layers of wool under canvas jackets, all just the same as it was last February when this began. The day’s tasks are also reminiscent of those I struggled through last spring but this time around, it’s a bit different. I’m a bit different. I have found a steady rhythm within the day-to-day, tuned to the click of an imaginary clock counting down my days here.
This countdown is both a relief and a dread. I welcome the rest that comes with a town winter but leaving also means that I’ll be out of the little stucco house that I’ve grown to love, away from the animals I’ve grown to know and separated from the land and community that I’ve grown to cherish. But that’s just it, I’ve grown. I’ve grown to know myself better, what I do and don’t want. I’ve grown to understand the way of life that agriculture brings, the hardships and celebrations that ensue. I’ve grown.
That is the point of this program, to grow young agrarians, but why do I so often wish that I hadn’t grown into this ranch? It has become a place of familiarity and comfort, something my life has lacked for sometime now. But, as one of my early mentors would say, “you can’t grow in your comfort zone and you can’t get comfortable in your grow zone.” So here I grow again, leaping back into my “grow zone” to continue my journey.
I am excited to say that my next step is a second season with the NAP program at Oxbow Cattle Company in Missoula, MT. This operation has been on my mind for a few years now and I am very grateful that this coming season will be my debut there. I can’t thank my current mentor site enough with Brian, Jim, Carrie, and Kaye Bignell, the inspiring staff at Quivira including Mattie Griswold, Hayden Vandeberg, and Julie Sullivan, and my fellow NAP apprentices, for their support this season and helping me get to this point. I am deeply grateful.
I also think it would be inappropriate not to thank the animals here at the Bignell Angus Ranch too, although they would probably prefer that I show my gratitude with extra feed rather than words. At the top of my list is Dixie, the Bignell’s young colt who showed me what it means to be forgiving and dependable while also giving me a much needed confidence boost. Contrastly, Rambo the big five year old gelding who humbled me. The cow herd that taught me that there is strength in community. The chickens (and Carrie) who made me breakfast every day. The cow dogs that saved my butt more times than I’ll admit. And finally, the neighbor cows that made me appreciate the Bignell herd’s docility much, much more.
And here I am, at the completion of my own cycle here in the Blackfoot valley. My things are packed, the horses and cattle are out to winter pasture, goodbyes are said, and there is nothing left to do but go. Still, my heart can’t help but feel heavy with gratitude for this place that has shaped me so much in such a short time. All I can say now is thank you.