Final Reflections
November 2024

During my time at Oxbow Cattle Company, I believe I changed almost daily. I have not been stagnant personally or professionally. It has been a dynamic and ever-evolving journey since I first arrived. I have gained so much knowledge in grazing and animal husbandry, horsemanship and roping, direct marketing beef, and selling local food. Personally, I have learned how to be a better self-advocate, verbalize what I feel, and set boundaries between my personal life and work. But out of all those things that are so instrumental in my career going forward, one of the greatest gifts I gained from Oxbow was my relationships. 

The Oxbow team has been one of the greatest crews I’ve ever been a part of. I was so fortunate to have found people who have taken me in as a part of their family. We all work so closely and spend so much time together that we love and fight like families do. Natalie Berkman has been one of my biggest role models and has been a sister figure to me. Her ability to teach and mentor me has been a true gift. From how to run poly wire, always knowing when to take a snack and drink of water in case you get nighted somewhere, how to tie a bowline knot, or simply just yapping in the woods with her, she never ceases to amaze me. Every day she shows up and is so unapologetically herself. Natalie is as unique as she is passionate about ranching and dedicating herself to a life in agriculture. She has been such a joy to learn from. As well as Bart and Wendy who are so generous with their time and truly spoil me. They fostered my love of roping and have pushed me to really work on my horsemanship skills. They also were so open to introducing me and allowing me to tag along to other brandings, shippings, parties, and community events and connecting me with the people they know. They are always there to help, the door is always open and they always have time, even when it’s most inconvenient for them. Bart and Wendy hold themselves so highly and have taught me to do the same. The culture at Oxbow is to do better and be better every day. Change is encouraged. This mindset has propelled me to look inward and strive to take the vow of personal responsibility, speak up, do quality work, and be kind.

One of the most valuable elements I learned during my apprenticeship is gratitude. Ranching is such a unique way of life. It’s relentless, brutal, and unforgiving while also being such a gift I wouldn’t trade for the world. Remembering to be grateful every day is hard, but it’s the grease for the gears to keep grinding day in and day out. Be grateful for the good days. Nice weather, an awesome view, a willing horse, a cooling breeze in the summer, a beam of sunlight in the winter, good company on long days, a handy dog, fat cows, no cell service, knocking off work early, a good lunch, and the list goes on. Those were always the easier things for which to be grateful. Some things I had to learn to be thankful for; a hard conversation with my boss, working 17.5 hour days back to back, stifling heat, owning up to mistakes, cows out, heavy boxes of beef, flat tires, rescheduling plans because of work, pushing through burnout. All of these situations were an opportunity to appreciate the smaller things. 

Two years at Oxbow have taught me that ranching and life is never going to be a walk in the park, and that’s okay. There is always another hiccup, bump in the road, monkey wrench, pickle, hitch, snag, etc. How you pivot from the obstacles and the attitude you choose to have in the face of adversity is what builds the resiliency to keep ranching one more day. Giving myself grace was another piece I gained here. Knowing my limits and allowing myself to relax and take time for myself was key in making my time here worth it. It is all a dance of give and take. Work is important, what gets you out of bed each morning, all the decisions you make like how you spend your time and money, and what fuels you is what shapes you. Because I have a choice I am responsible and because I’m responsible I am empowered. No matter where I go from here, I am more conscious of basic everyday things around me and how important keeping it local is. Where my food comes from first and foremost. I will make it a point to always know where the food I eat is grown and raised, and if I’m not the one raising it, to have a relationship with the people that do. It is so consequential to know where the food on your plate and the clothes on your back come from.

Overall, the main thing I will be taking with me going forward is intentionality. I will be intentional with those around me about the time I give, the words I say, and the actions I take. A life in agriculture is a legacy I want to uphold. I am young in my agrarian career and while in the grand scheme of things, my time at Oxbow has been short, it has been filled with so much light, love, and opportunity. I’m leaving with so many hard and soft skills to propel me in all future endeavors. I will always be thankful for the adventure I’ve had at Oxbow Cattle Company and the experience I got to do it with the New Agrarian Program. The community within Quivira was so instrumental during my apprenticeship. I felt so supported and accompanied in times of good and bad. The friendships and personal relationships gained from my cohort, alumni, and staff are ones that I will continue to feed and grow for a very long time. In conclusion, out of this apprenticeship, I may not have made the most money, but I gained in so many other ways that go beyond any monetary value.  

What is your land ethic?
May 2024

I really like shoes. I like sneakers, cowboy boots, fancy shoes, comfy shoes, colorful ones, plain ones, basic ones, unique ones, etc. I pretty much like them all. They get me around and protect my feet. As much as I like the shoes I wear, I love what’s underneath more. The land that my shoes walk upon is a very powerful living, changing, nurturing, complex being. You can see in the ways some shoes are worn how it can translate to the way certain landscapes are worn. Coming home from a long day of work, the earthy company on my shoes that is kicked off at the door each night is usually never the same each time. And how land is cared for plays a huge role on whether or not the dirt on my shoes is healthy or starving for attention. I believe that the way terrain should be looked after is by the golden rule. Treat your land, that you only have so much of, the way you would want to be treated. Would you want people to throw trash at you or have little holes stabbed all around you and filled with chemicals and toxins or have your hair chopped off at the nub each time it grows?

Now those are extreme examples and really torturous to humans, but unfortunately they are not viewed in parallel when it comes to land based practices. We were only gifted so much earth and the decisions we make on behalf of the land can have lasting impacts, positive or negative. Not all destructive land based practices are out of ill intent and human kind has benefited greatly from being greedy with our land care in a lot of different ways. I think the disconnect from man to land is shutting our eyes and ears to the way Mother Nature communicates with us. My relationship with the land is curious. Both historical and young at the same time. I strive to speak the land language. I want to comprehend this language I’m learning and be able to put into practice the information I’m absorbing. As I have been picking up some of the land dialect through agriculture, I can see there are so many cool ways to restore soil and raise beef with profound outcomes for both parties. Regenerative ranching along with managed intensive grazing has given me an opportunity to shift from taker to giver. Give more time for rest and regrowth. Give more attention to detail in soil health and study the ground with intention as well as context. In addition, understand the importance of the water cycle, animal integration and my own personal impact. It’s all one big web spun together that when working in synchrony it sounds like a symphony. Right now what I can make out is a faint background noise with incomprehensible blurbs of knowledge and insight. I can slowly translate with the small dictionary of tools I am building each day. I want to leave it better than I found it. I want my relationship with it to be not just beneficial for me. As for my future relationship with the land, I hope agriculture is the vessel that aids me in studying the ways it speaks. No matter the shoe choice I make, wherever they go I want to be aware of the weight I literally and figuratively put on the dirt I interact with, and I can only hope the shoes that carry me are still the ones covered in something out of the back end of animal.

FINAL REFLECTION – 1st year
November 2023

When I joined the New Agrarian Program, although I read the fine print and did my homework on the program and my operation, I really didn’t know what I was getting myself into. And had I known things that I know now, maybe I wouldn’t have applied. But because I did decide to apply for the program, and I am now finishing up my first year, I would say this has been one of the best experiences of my life. For my career and even personal relationships, NAP  jumpstarted so many positive things during my apprenticeship. The New Agrarian Program is a one-of-a-kind program that gave me so much access to resources like highly esteemed individuals in the ag industry as well as in different fields, educational opportunities to expand my agrarian skill set like soil health or grazing seminars, and an awesome built-in community of apprentices, mentors, coordinators, and connections to agriculture beyond the program. I am so thankful that I got to Oxbow Cattle Company through the program. I have never worked so hard in my life as I have here, but I also have never felt more rewarded from the work that I do. I was truly lucky to have fallen into the Oxbow team. I can’t speak enough kind words about my mentors and how much they have done for me in my professional and personal career. I did not expect to become so close with my mentors and build such an amazing relationship. Along with the connection, I have learned an immense amount of things to add to my agriculture resume. I learned so much about manage intensive grazing and how important it is to take care of the land. Mother Earth is such a powerful force and we have done such harmful things to it. Through intentional grazing, we can do our small part in restoring land and really caring for it. In the process of grazing, I became well-versed in plant identification and soil health and how it plays into when to move animals based on the time of year, the forage quality, and what is most palatable. Along with that I actually was able to use a skill from high school in my day-to-day routine and that is “ranch calculus”. I can now calculate how much grass a specific animal unit needs per day, how long they can stay in a paddock, and how much forage we are allotted in certain places. Besides the basics of regenerative ranching and manage intensive grazing, I got the opportunity to help run a beef business. Being able to work with other businesses and interacting with the people in my community was such a benefit to my apprenticeship. Our market is an honor system, which comes with a lot of trust from our customers and trust from us as producers. Everyone I talk to in our market just raves about how much they enjoy our beef and how neat it is to be entrusted with the integrity that goes along with shopping somewhere without people managing it all the time. It was very rewarding to help feed so many people nourishing, clean,100% grass-fed/ finished beef. From the beef that we raise I was shown the importance of understanding where good food comes from and how wholesome beef feeds the body and soul. Now I am very aware of what fuels me and I am really in tune with my body based on what goes into it. With so many things I have learned during my time at Oxbow I am sure that my future will always be agriculture. I am not sure exactly where in the industry I belong but I know that it is really what I want to do. I have so many more things to learn and experience in my agricultural career. I am very interested in genetics and breeding and would like to explore that side of production. And potentially get into the stock contracting business to be in more of a social setting and have the ability to travel more while being involved in a sport that I love. Overall, my apprenticeship has been a very positive experience. When I look back on my time at Oxbow and in the New Agrarian Program it really has been nothing but a appreciative adventure. There are so many highlights from this journey but I would have to say that one of the most memorable ones was going to the Whitt Hibbard Stockmanship Clinic. It was so much fun to get together with the other apprentices and coordinators and get away from our operations to get to build our skill sets in livestock handling. The clinic was very informative and such an awesome opportunity for us to further our stockmanship. Another highlight from Oxbow was just getting to make friends in the ranching community around us and getting to enjoy their company at brandings, helping out at their ranches, community parties, and events. With highs also come lows and challenges, especially being in such a time-consuming profession. There were times during my apprenticeship when I experienced burnout and felt like there was no end to the work we were doing. It was hard to see the light at the end of the tunnel at certain times. But in those times of doubt or exhaustion, it was really nice to have the other apprentices and coordinators. It was relieving to know the other people in the program who were also dealing with similar things, and feeling comfortable sharing what we were all going through. Another thing that got me through a strenuous time was just looking forward to the little things. Even if it was just looking forward to something like the weekend or activities with my friends or family, finding the excitement in the small parts of life when the daily grind of work got tough was really key. In conclusion, my overall journey as an apprentice was such a rewarding, knowledgeable, humbling, fun, challenging, and truly one-of-a-kind venture. The New Agrarian Program was not at all what I expected but it exceeded expectations with flying colors and I am very excited to see my future as a proud agrarian.

REFLECTIONS AFTER THE FIRST MONTH
April 2023

A sense of community is so important to a meaningful life and I believe contributes the most to a purposeful life. To share ideas and beliefs with people you trust is key to feeling fulfilled. Having a person or a group of people to rely on to go to in a time of need, celebration, or comfort is what makes the journey all worth it. During this apprenticeship I hope to gain a network of friends and colleagues to commune with. Having access to people who are all in a very similar stage in life is such a unique resource, that is very unlike many other jobs or apprenticeships. Surrounding yourself with a tribe to share the good, the bad and the ugly with makes the ebbs and flows of the whole experience much more comforting. Throughout this apprenticeship, I hope I can make connections with new people to guide me through this journey and potentially carry those friendships into the future. The New Agrarian Program name carries a lot of weight and is a door opening opportunity to get in touch with great people who share similar outlooks on agriculture and aligning lifestyles. I became interested in agriculture because food is very important to me and a way to enjoy life through flavor. And knowing how to raise and care for the things that feed me should not only be meaningful to me, but to everyone. With this apprenticeship I wish to gain more knowledge in all things agriculture. I hope to expand on the regenerative practices of ranching and really understand why and how it is done. In addition, extending my horsemanship and stockmanship to go hand in hand with the ways of regenerative, low stress ranching, is another set of skills I am eager to improve on. And through all that, get to know the people who are really making a difference in the agriculture community.  After this program I hope to look back at all the things I learned and relationships that I made and feel even more proud to be a part of this group and the agriculture industry.

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